The Complete Man

The wait was about to get over.... we were finally about to meet someone, we had been waiting for... since quite a sometime !!

We were planning for this visit for months now... And as it happens to be, when you wait for something to happen.. time passes like a snail. All of your patience drains out like battery of a smart-phone does, when continuously used for playing online games using Wi-fi.

Though the visit was pre-planned, the exact date of arrival was not confirmed. And this very element of uncertainty, leaves you perplexed. I consciously tried to overcome the feeling by avoiding thinking about it, but as one would expect....it kept haunting me till the last day, last minute. Your mind starts circling in thousands of “If-then-else loops” every day, every moment. And that is when you start receiving unwanted tips from relatives and advice camps organized by all the "well-wishers".  And it makes you sympathize with the mail-box already full with tons of spam e-mails, being bombarded with special & exclusive festive offers from online retailers. Though, a mailbox is more fortunate, since it can return excess of  e-mails as undelivered, but you just can't !! You have to receive all, that too with gratitude...

First time, when I saw the pictures, it aroused a flurry of  emotions inside... of curiosity, of excitement, of daze . Believe me, nothing could compare to the thrill and awe of the moment, when you look at the hazy pictures and try to imprint the pictures of someone so close and yet so far in your mind !!

Wait… enough of this flashback !! I cannot keep myself occupied with the sweet, innocent memories of the past….not anymore !! I need to face the harsh reality. The reality that I have to spend rest of my life with my biggest competitor, my biggest rival…my son !!

Yeah..yeah..yeah.. I know I am supposed to be a proud father… smiling and contended figure, a glass filled upto brim with happiness. But, you would not feel the same way once you read through my agony and pain.

I was a happy man, spending my life happily with my family. I was the poster boy of my family, the CXO of my family, the lead actor of my family soap opera… but everything has changed since past 10 months… First, my wife gently pulled the “Most Favored Person” crown off my head and the rest followed suit. It was like, getting the Corner Cabin , after years of hard work and loyalty to the company and then getting kicked out of it a day later coz of recession !!

It was my wife, who became the new center of attraction in the home, the most visited tourist destination during guest visits. And I could see the evil smile on her face, whenever we crossed paths. And I used to smile back at her, since I knew the fact that she was ignoring.. that it would be someone else, who would be smiling at us both for life long !! That the crown she pulled off my head, would be soon sliding from her head also. And this sadistic pleasure was the only relief I had during the first 9 months.

As the inevitable occurred one month back on the eventful day of 30-Sep-13, my life took a Z-turn. The Prince Charming of our family had arrived !! My mother was the first one to declare war on me, then grandfather of my son ( he prefers his new title more than the previous one..) and then aunt of my son (I called her elder sister before that) and finally whole world started showing solidarity with them.

I started feeling Titanic after it struck the Ice-burg… this was the Ice-burg moment of my life !! It would never be same again as it used to be… no more couch potato luxury, no more lazy weekends, , no more hang-outs with friends, no more ironed clothes, no more…so much more….

And my rival… he is having the time of his life at the cost of my misery. He has made my daily routine a Mayhem… nights have become nightmare itself and he himself sleeps in peace whenever he wants… I have to forcibly attend to “Become responsible, at least now” lectures live, online or through telecons and he can wet my t-shirt, anytime he wants…. I have to attend to him all the time its asked for and he can avoid me whenever he wants !! And the worst.. my pockets are leaking like municipal office ceilings and he gets gifts from all around…

But… I admit it’s still worth to take all this pain, jealousy and frustration for that one moment when he clings onto my index finger though involuntary, or for that sparkling smile without reason which brightens whole day, or that innocent stare while I pick him up to play !! It’s all magical… sheer pleasure watching him grow everyday, learn something new everyday..

Wish everyone gets their share someday.... I am having mine… it is fun indeed and I am cherishing it in my own way !!

Travel-ouch

A lucky man is one, who has a loving mother… or a loving wife…But if it’s not ”OR” instead an “AND” in my previous statement, than I would not be so sure !!

Sometimes too much happiness also chokes your throat. That is what happens with me every year end. My wife and my mother share the same sun-sign, and as if that was not enough… it happens to happen on adjacent days. And definitely, this kind of coincidence of sun-sign is not a good sign for any just guy.

The plan was perfect, take leave for wife’s b’day (Friday) and book flight to reach in time for mom’s b’day (Saturday) !! But all is not well, that starts well. I successfully pacified my wife, spent whole day with her, so no Taandava* this year !! Yeah.. after 10 yrs of marriage also, you can’t escape… However, she happily let me go for whole weekend to celebrate my mom’s b’day. I can’t tell you in words, how happy I was… think of an employee being offered sorry by boss, think of getting pure milk (no drain water/ surf excel)or in short, think of a prisoner offered a layout of jail and necessary tools by jail-staff to break-free of prison !!

Saturday it was, I started from home at 8:00am sharp for flight scheduled at 10:30am. In cab, driver started torturing with stupid songs, but I forgave him...since I was so happy ! I forgave the traffic constable for stopping us for 15 mins on signal...since I was happy ! I even forgave the credit-card sales person on phone, since I was….happy of course.

When I reached the airline counter at 9:00am, the painted lady, I mean pretty lady said, ”Sir, your flight is on-time. Wish you a happy flight”, and gave my boarding pass with the same fake smile, that you are entitled to when you fly in economy class. I think, the smile curve length varies from economy to business class, not sure though…

I was sitting in the waiting area, thinking of all the good dishes my mom would be making for me, my old cozy bed, where I would relax for whole weekend without being disturbed for irrelevant, unimportant, time-killing household chores. And that is what you call an exotic holiday !!

Suddenly, all the nice-thought-balloons were punctured by the vibrations of my mobile. My mom was calling for status update. I told her, the plan is on and I would see her in another 4 hrs. She was thrilled and so was I !!

Time is a wicked entity if you ever had the time to notice… It would just zoom pass by, if you are watching a cricket match with friends or boozing happily. And just crawls like an earthworm when you are stuck with your wife & heavy shopping bags in your hands. I swear, I saw my clock after 2hrs, still it was just 09:30 am !!

I saw my clock again, it was 10:15 am. Still no boarding announcement ? What the fudge (I am an ice-cream lover, in fact my mobile also runs on ice-cream sandwich) !! I stood up and walked towards the airline counter again, and unsurprisingly found whole bunch of fellow passengers arguing with the prickly, I mean pretty lady. The whole scene resembled angry rebels waving black flags and shouting slogans to govt. officials & politicians for an anti-people law. I tried to tune in my ears to the same frequency to hear myself, what the fuss was about. “What do you mean the flight is delayed ?”, a young lady was shouting with her vocal chords utmost strained, not a pleasant sound I must say. “Why did you not tell this earlier?”, an elderly uncle were asking in a calm but angry tone. “These airline guys are all but a bunch of lazy monkeys…they…”, a local guy was cursing them in local slang, which I cannot complete or translate literally or this post would have to be rated as “A”. "At least give snacks to munch on till the flight arrives...", a 35+ lady asked, a well-rounded personality, I must say. But nobody heard her. “When do you expect to take off ?”, I asked from a distance politely,which only an IT guy can do...talking politely even if he is as frustrated as a gorilla without food for 2 days... And surprisingly, all the angry birds turned towards me. All the angry passengers were looking at me, as if I had sabotaged the flight. "Did I ask something wrong?.. Sorry..", I said in an embarrassed tone. And all of them, once again turned back towards the airline counter and started shouting again.

In the meanwhile, the floor manager had arrived, SWAT personnel for the airlines, with expertise in tackling unruly and rowdy passengers. I had heard, they are usually appointed based on their ability to tolerate unpleasant words and gestures for a long duration without feeling any emotions. He was a middle aged short guy,his hair combed straight with 1-2 oil drops dripping on side of his collar. He also had three-lines on his forehead, suggesting he was a God fearing person. In all, a dove of peace, a sea of calmness and a monk from Himalayan monastery. "Please gentlemen and ladies.. listen to me.. this is not our fault. There seems to be a technical problem with the plane engine. Our engineers are working on it, and we ll fly in another
one and half hours. I apologize for the delay. But please cooperate". His smile and composure irked the passengers even more. They started shouting again. "Why cant you shift us to another carrier instead of wasting our time ?", another passenger shouted. "Sorry Sir, we checked but there is no flight taking off till next 3 hrs !!". The manager silenced him as well. "At least give snacks to munch on till the flight arrives...", the same lady replayed the same track. "Sorry Ma'am, we cannot do that till the lunch time !!", and the manager gave an apologetic smile again.

I had no choice... but to wait. I could not dare to call back to my wife.. or she would convince me to come back home. Not that, she is very logical or a voracious orator, but just that no husband can win over her wife in any argument !! Noway, no calling wife.. I am on vacation.. so i called my mother instead. "Hello Mom... yeah... called you to tell that I would be late. Yeah.... the flight is delayed by another one and half hrs, so it would take off at 12:00 pm.", I told her sadly and had to take off the phone 2" away from my ears. She started cursing the airlines first, and then started crying. Same old family melodrama... forgot to tell, she is also an Indian daily sop opera addict. I hate these serial-killers, I mean killer-serials on TV, they continuously fuel the long forgotten and deep inside buried dramatic-jugglery in Indian ladies. "hello Mom, I am hanging up the call, need to go to washroom..", and I hanged up the call.

Phewww....I looked at watch, its still 11:00 am, just 1 more hour to go... I consoled myself and took out my i-pad to kill time. And just out of curiosity, I searched for flights from Hyderabad to Kakinada, and fudge...there was a flight available from another carrier at 11:00 am and next at 3:30 pm. The manager lied to us !! I wanted to tell the co-passengers but resisted thinking that they would start shouting again, and the flight may get delayed this time due to their assault on manager. So, i decided to wait quietly for next 1 hr and promised myself not to fly the same airline again.

It was 11:45 am now, and still no announcements... I got up again and walked to the airline counter. Looked like an action replay. Same flock, same faces, same questions, though the airline staff was changed. I was confused, angry.. could not understand what had happened now. As I reached nearer, I heard another manager looking person saying," Don't panic... please calm down.. we have called a plane from Bengaluru.  We would definitely take off at 4:00 pm..". What ??? His words fell on my ears like atomic bomb on Hiroshima. I could not believe my ears !! "What ? you mean we need to wait for 4 more hours to get onto the plane ? Are you crazy ?", an angry passenger had reached the collar of the manager. "Sir please calm down.... our engineers could not rectify the engine problem, so we have no choice, but to call a plane from Bengaluru.", manager politely took the passengers' hands off his collar.  "At least now give snacks to munch on till the flight arrives...", the lady would not budge. She was playing same old track again. Seemed, she only came to airport to eat snacks at airlines's cost, reaching her destination was not a priority. "Yes ma'am, we ll be shortly giving food coupons to all the passengers", manager said in a convincing tone to receive a victorious smile from the lady.

But other passengers were not convinced, they were asking for transfer to another flight. But the manager replied that the other flight at 3:30 pm was full and hence he was helpless. Helpless, it was the right word... that's how we all were feeling. You plan, you pay a premium forsaking other necessities and this is how you get deceived !! The elderly uncle asked, "Are you sure you can land at Kakinada airport after 5:00 pm ? Usually they stop the landings after 5:00 pm". And the manager assured that he had taken the necessary approvals from airport authorities.

Some passengers were baked-in-sun enough to understand the hidden meaning of his courtesy and started asking for refund. Though I was still caught between heart and mind. My mind told me I am not so lucky to enjoy such a holiday and I should follow the suit, get the refund and get back to my boring wife, I mean boring life. But my heart as usual, needed some more time to accept what my mind  had already known !!

Four more hours to wait at airport, I was feeling like the foolish wood-cutter, who had cut the same branch on which it sat. In this case, I had just went a bit farther and cut my legs as well. I had no option but to wait, trusting the airlines people, who had done nothing till now except demonstrating heights of unprofessional-ism  Obviously, from next time, if there was a next time, I vouched to myself, I would not ever ever buy tickets for this airlines.

It was lunch time and I had not brought anything from home, thinking I would be relishing my favorite dishes made by my mom at lunch. In fact I had resisted very rudely to carry any food item from home. So, I also had to take the food coupon and join others for lunch. At least here, the airlines people met or rather exceeded our expectations! The food coupons entitled us for a plain bun, 10 gms butter, a jam and ketchup pouch and an uncooked salad sandwich. I don't think it would have sufficed even for a health conscious lady,
maintaining zero-figure. And so, I had to drain another 500 bucks to extinguish fire in my belly.

It was still 2:00 pm, so 2 more hrs to end this ordeal. I was thinking what should be done to spend the rest 2 hours, in the meanwhile, my phone started ringing. It was our driver, he was waiting at Kakinada airport for me !! My mother had send him to pick me up at airport. I told him the story and asked him to go back. Then called my mom to explain the delay.... . First she heard everything silently and then hanged up the phone. She thought, I was making this whole story up since I did not had the courage to tell her, that I cant come !! Ladies..... they just can't help suspecting. Trust is a smart virtue that seems to fear going anywhere near intelligent female species, it just sticks to the dumb male species like a hardened chewing-gum does to a shoe. We trust everyone, ranging from our boss to the finance minister. Anyways, I decided not to explain to her and rather take a nap in the lounge, to clear up the thought cloud in my mind. But, alas !! I had to wake up with my phone ringing, this time it was my wife. She told she called to know, if I had reached safely but I know she called to hear, what my mom was complaining about her. And when I told that I was still at Hyderabad Airport, she laughed !! Said, "enjoy...", and hanged up the phone. I couldn't have made her so happy even if I had stayed at home and made lunch for her. Sadist, I thought !!

The watch showed 3:30 pm, this time I wanted to be there before others started shouting for one or the other reason. So, I once again picked myself up and walked towards the counter praying for no more action-melodrama. As I reached there, I saw the counter was empty, not a soul wandering even nearby !! I looked around, the co-passengers were flocked to the opposite side of the counters, at the office of the airlines. Oh no, not again…. With scary eyes and heavy heart and I walked towards them.

As I reached there, I heard the old uncle shouting this time, “What do you mean the plane from Bengaluru has not yet arrived ? Has it even started from there ? You guys are making me feel sick !!”, surely the gentleman didn't want to be gentle anymore.The airlines guys had stepped on our tails long back, it’s just that some feel the pain a bit late. “Sir, please calm down…we areconfirming with our Bengaluru staff right away…I understand your anger but please just give us two minutes !!”, the lady at the office was trying her best to pacify the uncle. But unfortunately words have long lost their self-respect and dignity in our “humane”, ”compassionate” & “responsible” world. They no longer comfort anyone. “The plane would not come… we have been cheated”, someone shouted from the crowd. “They are nothing but a bunch of thugs in suits, posing as professionals..”, another person shouted. “Please gentlemen and ladies, have patience.. please be seated, we ‘ll inform you about the status in another 5 mins..”, the manager appeared on the scene. The flock left the lady and surrounded him instead. “What is happening ?? Is this how you run the airlines ? No professionalism ?”, the uncle had become “angry young man” of Zanjeer. The manager smiled, as if pitying his innocence....Then suddenly changed his expressions, faking looks of a helpless person saying,"Sorry Sir, but we are facing this situation for the first time ever !!". Even a thumb-succking child could make out his lie but we the mango people, we had to play along.

10 mins later, at 4:00 pm, the manager came back with 2-3 bouncers like looking guys, and politely addressed a bunch of passengers including me, "Sorry ladies and gentleman, there has been a communication error, the plane from Bengaluru is not coming, since we could not land the plane in Kakinada after 5:00pm because of fog..". "But you said that necessary approvals were taken already !!", one
angry passenger said reaching near him, but the bouncers came in between. The manager smiled arrogantly this time and said, "That's true, we had communicated to them already, but received the reply just now denying permission to land". "But you had called the plane from Bengaluru long back, why the hell didn't it arrive till now.. you are a liar, you thug !!". This time, the manager changed his tone, "Mind your language..... Sir ! The plane was sent back in air only, since we did not get the necessary approvals for landing in Kakinada. Its just that, we got the news a bit late". "A bit late ? You wasted our whole day.. we could have taken another flight, you moron..", an enthusiastic young man retaliated. But the argument was pointless....the news broke out... no plane was sent from Bengaluru..... no permission was taken from Kakinada airport authorities, we were just being tricked all this time. This was the moment of self-realization, I realized that my wife is not the only sadist, this manager was even a bigger sadist.

"I apologize on airlines behalf for the flight cancellation. And on my personal request, the airlines has agreed to refund full fare or transfer you all to our tomorrow' flight !!", the manager said in a self-righteous tone. Nobody even waited to curse him this time, and straight-away formed a queue for cancellation-refund. Since I had booked the ticket online, I had the option to call it a day and start back home.

In the taxi back home, I called my mom and told her the whole story.. And afterall, a Mom is a Mom, she said, she believed me but a Mom is a female first.... and so out of compulsive-blackmailing disorder, she started crying. I said, " Hang up the phone, I am coming but would reach tomorrow morning". And suddenly she switched role to an enthusiastic kid from a bed-ridden, coughing 80 year old woman. And I could not stop smiling...

3 hrs later, I am sitting sandwiched in a train, updating status on FB as @ Railway station instead of @ Airport and writing this story on my i-pad in general class.. with an 70 yr old kaka smoking bidi (desi-cigarette) on one side and a young lad reading a cheap magazine cribbing about celebrity affairs and scandals with sleazy pics and derogatory remarks on them. The whole compartment is filled up to brim with 'cattle class'. 8 passengers each side on 3 passenger seats and 5 on each side on the upper birth, which is supposed to hold luggage. And between the opposite sides, 4 local with 2 goats. One of the goats trying to munch on my i-pad case. Can't say if I was lucky( unlucky) enough to get a seat. Wait a minute... its my wife calling again... what to tell her ? Any ideas ??.. Please suggest.. reply soon...

itS"trip-tease"r

You should never judge a book by its cover ! Thats what we failed to realize. When all things seem pleasant.. for sure, you are being deceived !! What seemed in the beginning to be a Weekend Jack-pot, ended up, with us being called as Crackpot. (para 1)

The hide and seek of sun with clouds, fresh air gushing into face while trying to poke head out of sun-roof (on the sides) of my Audi (nick-name of my hatch-back), the scenic route of country side coupled with surprize pot-holes and car-wreckers(speed breakers as people call them) and badmash company... !! What else you need to call a weekend as Malamaal Weekly !!! (para 2)

On the fateful day of 26th Jan, me and "3 idiots" (almir, sherman and madhvan ??? no..no..no, plz dont guess) decided to celebrate 63rd Republic day in democratic style, a trip to a nearby popular dam site. Damn it !! Thats what I should ve said, when they proposed this idea.... but no, I never say no to any foolish idea, at least not when it involves a 3 hr drive to a beautiful dam, a pleasant ferry ride in the catchment of blue waters and chances of getting some potential profile pics for social web'para'sites and cherry on the cake, Kanu's company. (para 3)

As usual, I did not pay attention to the ringing of alarm similar to what my mom does when I stop her from pouring more butter on my breakfast paranthas !! But couldn't ignore call of one of the masterminds of this wicked plan, who decided to wake me up so that she can RIP for another 30mins.... I hate her for being so cruel to my snorting ! "Still sleeping ? you moron..get up, or you ll make us wait again"...She hanged up the call and with that hanged my innocent dreams too... (para 4)

I waited for 24mins 38 seconds exactly, before I saw first idiot, Manu. He had gone home at 12:30 last night due to a prolonged telecon and still was game for today's marathon !! First convict, proved guilty. If he had pulled back from the plan, we would not have gone and happily spent the day cursing him or watching movie, of course on his expense...But no, destiny's ugly sister tragedy was waiting for us, for an exclusive rendezvous. "Hey dude, you came early haah..what a surprise !!", he said smiling all the while. "Yeah, you are not the only one, I surprized myself too", I said in a subtle voice. He sat in the car and we started waiting together. (para 5)

Before Manu arrived, I was waiting at a petrol bunk. And since I am not used to wait, everyone looked like Mona Lisa's painting to me, staring in the direction I was standing. I changed my location several times, to arrive at a logical conclusion but failed ! So finally, I decided to get the tires' air pressure checked. But in haste, I even overlooked the guy, checking the tires and his equipment, now I realize, both looked so tired and sleepy. If this mistake was made by a pencil on a paper and I had eraser, I would have loved to erase it. (para 6)

"Hey dude, you came early haah..what a surprise !!", if you hear same dialogue again in the morning, empty stomach, waiting for 30mins, how would you react ? I did the same !! I stabbed the girl 3 times.................. in my mind and gave a silly grin while opening the car door. Tanu was the second convict proved guilty. She hardly agreed for any plan, even if it was a luncheon together in cafeteria at her floor. But this time she turned up and that too without somebody kneeling down to persuade her. "Why do you do so much make-up ? do you fear, we would not recognize you?". Manu burst out laughing at his own half-cracked PJ... but it did neither impress Tanu, nor me....we did not even bother to look at him. (para 7)

"Hey dude, you came early haah..what a surprise !!", I turned in the direction of the voice with a jerk, like a spring loaded toy. There she was, Kanu, standing like a silhoutte in twilight sky, looked like she was coming out of the sun. An absolute marvel(not comic strip) !! Her face, so pleasant...like an oasis in a melting hot desert, her eyes, so lovely....gleaming with heavenly lights, her ear-rings swinging and laughing at passer-bys...her blue top giving a proud sky run for its money and a peculiar intoxicating smile, which could even enslave kings. In short, an artist's dream, for which even angels would not mind being exiled from heaven.
For mortals !! if looks could kill.......simply a weapon of mass destruction !! (para 8)

And so, this time...even the same irritating dialogue sounded like a honey filled, caramel coated melody to my ears. "Hieeeeee", some extra "e"s in my "Hi", made it even more stupid than I usually behave
when she is around. Anyways, since all seats got occupied..we finally started on  a jouney to the abyss. (para 9)

While crossing city, we came across children dressed in white, exumberant, brimming with enthusiasm holding national flag, Some of that enthu touched us and we also started chirruping.
And since everyone was starving, we took a brief hault for breakfast at our favorite tiffin center and continued. (para 10)

As soon as we reached highway, we took a small hault and my co-passengers started posing for the shutter-bugs. Green fields on sides, solid rock-hills on the horizon, and a solitary highway reaching upto the sky made it a perfect shooting spot. And since I am a camera friendly guy, it always ends up hanging around my neck. Since childhood its been like this as I realized it very late that my definition of "camera friendly" itself is skewed. But this time, I did not mind as it gave me a chance to click pics of Kanu. I clicked almost every second to capture all of her gestures, each of them being a master-piece for my personal art-subway, (gallery wont suffice). (para 11)

Either we were running behind schedule, or schedule was running ahead of us (its yet not known), but because of this very reason, we did not stop anywhere before the next unscheduled stop.
Reason ?? Rows of coconut trees wanted a pic with us. Also, some stubborn but curious rocks had piled over one another to look over the other side of coconut trees and test our rock-climbing skills. Before I could even open the door, I saw Kanu running and skipping over shrubs and small rocks to jump-stand over a big boulder, the combo could ve been titled as,"the bald and beautiful". After that Tanu showed her athletic skills but her specs could not survive this adventure and succumbed to a mild frame-attack. I and Manu mourned for the sudden demise of specs for 2 mins, carried the dead body in our pockets and carried on with the rock-climbing. The first to reach the top was Kanu. Though i am brave, but watching her climbing was nothing less than a horror flick, it was similar to a chicken watching a slaughter house on TV !! My heart came to my mouth, and eyes popped out of sockets, but she went up like a mountain goat..."silly me", I thought and followed Manu. We took some snaps at the top of the most arrogant rock, sat there to listen to the silence for few blissful moments."Who said, its lonely at the top ? Its just that you should not climb alone!!", Kanu made a thoughtful remark and we all smiled and nodded in yes !! And started down-rock. (para 12)

Once again, the car was talking to the wind, and we were talking among ourselves. Kanu forced me sing some stupid numbers and I dumbly noticed her laughing and recording it to blackmail me later. I did not sleep, because I was driving, others did not sleep because Kanu would not let them. She is a live wire, which can light up frowning faces or give a 440 watts shock, whatever the occasion may demand. However, in office she keeps herself disguised as a shy, introvert and harmless girl. A girl, who wont ever utter a word in loud tone, even if angry. "Abe Oye, why are you so silent? Have you come for mourning ?", Kanu shouted in my ear and car took a sudden jerk. Everyone panicked and hanged onto seat-belts, but Kanu was laughing hysterically. "Are you crazy?", Manu shouted."You bet, I am !!", she blinked an eye and shot with her finger. (para 13)

Some more pics and videos on the way and once again, we got down for lunch around 12:30pm. Nothing worth mentioning happened there, except for me snatching Tanu's mobile and smacking it on the floor by mistake,5 mins of melodrama followed; Kanu squeezing ketchup over Manu's white shirt over a movie argument; 5 mins of melodrama followed. We paid the bill for providing entainment to other tourists and left the scene in 30 mins. (para 14)

After 1 hr, I broke the bad news,"I think, we are lost !!". As expected, three different reactions:
Kanu-"Woww..thats so cool !!", she said with a childish sparkle in her eyes.
Tanu-'How could you ? I saw so many sign-boards !", she lost her cool.
Manu-" Dont worry, lets ask somebody", he said peeping out of the jacket, under which he was hiding while sleeping. (para 15)

"Tanu,thats the reason, we lost our way. I tried following all of them.", I said in an indifferent tone. Believe me, half of the sign-boards would try to fool you and send you in wrong direction, as is the case with so called "well-wishers"(your neighbors, your relatives) in your life. Because they themselves keep facing the wrong direction ! "Hey look ! Another sign-board....there is a waterfall just 30kms from here.", Kanu said cheerfully. "Kanuuuuuu, get your head inside first...",Manu said grinding his teeth. and before, anybody could say yes or no, I turned the steering towards the waterfall. (para 16)

Within 25 mins, we were appreciating the beauty of the waterfall. Frankly speaking, I did not expect it to be a proper waterfall, infact I would not have even come if Manu or Tanu had seen the sign-board. Since it was Kanu, I had no choice but to respect her wish. "Awesome, amazing, anonymous !!", exclaimed Tanu. "Anonymous, is not a praising word",said Manu looking towards the distant waterfall. Tanu gave a weird expression and turned away to walk towards the empty bench. "Its beautiful, aint it ?".asked Kanu and turned towards me. I became conscious,"Indeed..it is..it is.... so beautiful, so lovely, so charming, so gorgeous, so...". "Stop..stop...", Kanu interrupted me and pointed towards waterfall and smiled,"its there...not here...". Crap...I said all the lines looking at her and not the waterfall. I buried my head in my collar and walked to the other side. We stood there for a while, Kanu looking towards waterfall, I looking towards her. Manu and Tanu,busy fighting over an almost emptied chips packet. (para 17)

We reached our destination, the Dam at 3:30pm, where we were supposed to arrive at 10-11am. And as expected, the last ferry had left, so we hired a small round dinghy, which made a hole in our pockets. But I must confess, it was so damn worth it !! We all stretched our legs, splashed water at each other. The dinghy-walah made it a merry-go-round for few seconds to make us burst out laughing."Hey, whats that ?", I pointed towards Kanu's nose, it was bleeding. She explored her nose, saw the blood and punched on my arm. I was blaimed for it and my hankerchief was confiscated as a penalty. The guilt was enough to burn all my calories accumulated during breakfast and lunch. So we got down at the banks of the reservoir, did a brief photo-shoot and marched for snacks. After snacks, the next stop was supposed to be Hyderabad, 3:30 hrs straight drive, as we had to attend a party at 8pm. (para 18)

After cruising for almost 1hr, I saw the temple on a hill, which I wanted to visit since I saw it in morning. I proposed and Kanu happily nodded, thats it ! As the wise monks say that the path that leads to God is full of hardships, so it was. The road to temple was aweful, but we managed to reach to the temple. After spending 15mins or so, we started back. What the wise monks, never told was, the return path is even worse and it took its toll ! (para 19)

Tanu was continuously getting calls from her aunt and she kept on telling her that she is at a friend's place watching "Friends" and would be home in 1:30 hr, though we were 2:30hrs away from Hyderabad. As a courtesy measure, I started cruising a bit fast (100-110)km/hr. Though the traffic was not a problem, the road was a bit rough. After 1:30 hr or so, what should not have happened, happened !! The rear-right tire burst and we were stranded in midst of a dark, lonely jungle like surroundings. The uneven tire pressure coupled with speeding aggravated the injuries leading to martyrdom of the tire !! (para 20)

Everyone stared at me, as if I had done this intentionally, I was sure I had spare tire, but the spare tire turned out to be a bummer. It also had a ugly patch and did not promise to survive till Hyderabad. It was like replacing "out of form Sehwag" with Dravid in a T-20 match ! Anyways, we decided to try and reach the nearest town. (para 21)

At a speed of 35-40km/hr, we reached the nearest town, parked car at a petrol bunk, and rushed like a search party for a spare tire. After searching for almost half an hr, we concluded what US soldiers did after searching for Osama in Afghanistan, that the town had no spare tire to offer !! While we were struggling to get an answer to this ghostly problem, we were getting calls from all over the world. The guy hosting party, some distant relatives, some old-forgotten friends, even customer care guys did not want to leave us alone !! (para 22)

At 9pm, Manu announced,"Let us leave the car here for tonight. We ll board the next bus to Hyderabad and get over this ordeal.". The plan was flawless, until we realized a minute later that the bus at 9pm had already left and the next bus would leave at 10pm. "Woww !!", Kanu jumped with ecstasy..."one more hour with you guys, would be fun"...We all turned towards her and gave a hard stare. "Sorry", she made an animated frowning face. However, she soon got bailed out as she came up with a solution. Would you believe that ? A  problem itself solving a problem !! But she did. Her uncle had contacts with a cab operator. And she had called him to send someone with a spare tire. The backup had to arrive in just 1 hr. So we had to somehow pass 1 hr to either board a bus or get a tire to put us back on road. Simple, isnt it ? (para 23)

I was again feeling hungry, and standing adjacent to a sweet shop aggravated the urge further. "anybody wants some pakode ?", I asked. A moment later, I and Kanu were munching on fresh, hot pakode and Manu and Tanya were staring at us in disbelief. I was just trying to live the modern world saying,"If life lends you lemon, ask for tequila". What I did not know, that what I was thinking of as lemon, was just a mango candy !! The real trouble was yet to come.... (para 24)

Standing outside the bus stand, we had already become center of attraction in that small sleepy town. Though trying not to observe too much, still I and Manu were worried to be caught in a catch-22 situation. girls seemed to be a responsibility now. And while we guys were drowning in the sea of unpleasant thoughts, two guys, probably drunk walked towards us. One of the guys was strongly built, his chest and biceps looked like inflated balloons of appropriate sizes. And the other one, side-kick not worthy of more than 2-3 punches.(thats how, guys usually weigh other guys/strangers). And since girls have this uncanny knack of adjusting to such adverse situations, Kanu and Tanu had already hidden even their shadows behind us. (para 25)

The big guy asked me something in local dialect but all I could sense was, it was not friendly, so I clinched my fists. Before i could ask him to repeat his question, Manu pulled me aside and took control of the situation. Definitely the conversation was not about the recent cricket series, or I would have picked something. After some unnerving 2-3 mins, he walked off. His gestures suggested, he was unsatisfied with the conversation. Now it was no more fun. It was a "black hawk down" situation with hostile surroundings. I was cursing myself for not learning the regional dialect in past 5yrs. And Manu did not seem in a mood to tell me about it. We were eagerly waiting for the back-up, but bad times have this trait of squeezing the last of your hopes before passing by. (para 26)

The bus stop had become deserted by now, The shops' shutter had gone down. Dogs and cats had resumed their night duties. And our heads were turned in the direction towards Hyderabad from where the back-up had to arrive, like sunflowers turn in direction of sun. Though smoking is injurious to health and cigarettes are bad but that evening I did not feel so for the first time, because only the dim light from a nearby cigarette shop was keeping company to us. I thanked all the smokers of the world for not giving up on smoking and all the shopkeepers, who sell it relentlessly through all the odds and opposition of cruel non-smokers (including me) !! (para 27)

The big guy turned back again, came to us with more conviction in his body language. he claimed to be a CRPF guy, but did not look even a bit of it. He stood near us and was talking loudly to a guy about the bus timings, almost trying to force feed the guy on the line to make him deny that a bus leaves for Hyderabad at 10pm. After a while, he gave up and hanged up the call. Again came to Manu and had a brief conversation, which I would have translated if I had understood "Businessman" movie, but I did not, so I would not !! All I could do was to wait for Manu's signal to engage in a likely event of bare handed dual. But luckily, that did not happen. He went to the other side of the road and kept staring at us. (para 28)

The last bus was about to come and our back up had not arrived. Now should we all 4 board the bus ? or should we all 4 wait for back-up ? or should we send the girls in the bus and wait for back-up ? What if that guy boarded the same bus ? So many questions were floating in the air. And answers ? they had already left with 9pm bus to Hyderabad. Somebody held my shoulder from behind, I turned with a jerk, but to my relief, it was the sweet shop guy.Hhe had come to make sure, we had left. Actually a while ago, I was chatting with him about his native and developed a mutual acquaintance. Some other passengers also joined us, waiting for the 10pm bus. And soon after, got call from Kanu's uncle that the cab was nearby and we should not board the bus. We all sighed and took a long awaited breathe of relief. (para 29)

In half an hour, I was experiencing those blissful moments of inner peace, utmost content and inert state of mind, I had longed for years. Kanu was sleeping with her head on my shoulder on the backseat of the cab, as Manu did not want me to create any further trouble by driving the other car. I dropped Kanu at her place, thinking that it was the last time I ever went out with her. That after such a trauma and torturous trip, she would not ever talk to me again. That its all over, until my mobile beeped and passed out. Did I read her name on screen ? I desperately wanted to reach home, not because I was tired and wanted to embrace my bed. But because I wanted to charge the mobile and read the message. As soon as it regained conscious, it read her message, " Thank God its over !", my heart sank to the depths of Atlantic or Pacific (my GK has always been bad). Still I read further, "But I want to admit that today was one of the best days of my life, Thanks !!". I skipped "one of the" and my heart jumped till Al Burj/ Al Khalifa's (my GK...) top floor. (para 30)

"Shall we go there again next week?", I messaged her back. I was ready to take another trip to the damn dam to hear that again ! "May be some other time ?", she replied back. What an idiot I am, I slapped myself and went to sleep. (para 31)

Breaking News !!

Retarded.....ugly and stupid !! Face with weird expressions...eyes blood red, hair unkempt like unwatered road side weeds, fists clinched and trying to push the wall... Overall, a figure of pity.....But....wait a minute ! Thats me.....looking in the mirror.....!!

It looked like a regular routine filled morning and a predictable day...in the morning, which of course turned out to be a day-mare...if you want to call it that way !

I heard her re-emphasizing.."we are just friends...and ll be... hereafter too... if you want it that way. You listening to me ??", rest all my dumb (keyboard problem) numb head defied to hear.... Last thing I heard was, "Ok Chintan, dont you worry...everything would be fine...gotta go...bbye !!". Did she break up with me ? Yes....she broke-up with me....much before I could even make it up to her...

In the morning, I was reading newspaper, shitting (keyboard problem) sittng in a confined space on, what literate people would not call a chair...pitying people dying for unreasonable reasons like road accidents, militant attacks, poverty and even sudden heart attacks ! That was when, my eyes got fixed on an article "Failure in love-life can kill too ??". It told about a guy who failed to woo his love and jumped off the roof. He realized it late....not his failure but, that it was only first floor and could only manage to kill his father's loyal dog, who was the sole witness of the incident and did not live to bark about it. The guy could only get 2 broken bones, not because of the fall but his father's courtesy." Later I shared the online newspaper clip on FB and added a comment,"huh...what a despo !!", which got 4 likes and 8 comments, not that I am boasting about it but it feels great man !!

People say, mirrors dont lie...but this one....definitely was ! I was adjudged as the fresh face in first yr of college.. But right now, it showed me all the pimples, blackheads and oh my god !! did I see a grey hair in midst of all the dandruff ?? I am doomed... Firstly, my grades did not come great, not that its a surprise but still it hurts man !! Secondly, my maid who thinks that I fall for every second lady, felt ...though for a second, that she was the second one !! Thirdly, the girl I was TDM in love with, oh by the way TDM means (truly.... deeply and melody..arrghh...madly), this keyboard ducks !! Anyways, the girl I love and was about to propose shortly in 1-2 years..dumped me ! Not that I was not expecting it but its just that it came a bit early than I expected !! And lastly...this grey hair...

My eyes had swollen but tears would just keep coming like Hyderabadi traffic does, when you want to cross the road. Its not that, that I am not good at crossing roads, I can even double-cross a 2-lane road but tears.... As far as I remember, I never cried in childhood not even in adolescence as it was considered a sign of weakness. Until I saw Salman Khan, the macho man, crying in a movie..and I said..I can cry better than that and you get to be called sensitive too !! I do not know about others but my tears dont seem to taste good...too much saltiness just ruined the taste !!

My cell was ringing...before I could reach for it...it became silent. I looked at the caller name, it was her number. Woww !! She called me ? The thought itself sounded so exciting but...why would she call me ? We had just met in college.. I mean she was sitting 2..ok 200 mtrs away with her friends and caught me looking at her thrice....so romantic naa... Though, I had got her number from a common friend but could not gather the courage to call her..but I could still point at her number blind fold from a heap of phone directories.... So should I call back ? or wait for her call and try to show off some attitude.. before i could decide, she called again.

I was desperately trying to wipe off tears with my hanky, t-shirt and kitchen napkins as well... but desperate times call for desperate measures. So, I ran for toilet roll..only dat cud wipe off a mess like that. I was confident as it has handled much worse situations than this like aftermaths of Edward's butter chicken party... Gopi's booz nite and gift wrapping of Bijoy's gift for his girlfriend....

"Hello..this is Chintan, who is at the other end....", I picked up the phone."Grow up Chintan...you know its me...stop behaving like an immature school teenager !",she said."Listen, I want to talk to you about something important, are you listening ?", she continued. Of course I was...with super-sonic pulse rate, com-pounding heart, eyes wide open..was she about to say those magical three words ??? "Who are you ?", she said. What ?? did I hear it correctly ? Did she say, who am I ? No, wait..it cant be..its not supposed to be.. The astrologer on TV said, my love life is about to take off....or did he mean take....off ?? "Who the hell you think you are ? You are embarrassing me in front of my friends Chintan.", she said in a subtle, cold manner, I could hear grinding of teeth...so very peculiar of her...when she gets angry. I loved it when she did something like that to my #5 competitor in front of canteen... Everybody said, it was very rude of her..only I supported..infact celebrated it by paying for all 5 of my friends. What sounded like a romantic symphony that day, sounded like hammering a nail into a defiant wall, right now.

"So you mean...you mean you dont like me ? you were not waiting for me to propose you ? You are not angry because I am delaying ? but..because I embarrassed you !! You like someone else ??, I asked all of it in a flurry. "Oh, com'on Chintan...you are not my white knight in shining armour but a shy driver, who uses too much dipper at night but never overtakes !!" She took a long breath and even longer pause....'Listen Chintan, I do not want you to suffer because of me.. because you are very innocent, very cute...but not my type !". I never realized that innocence is such a ditch (this keyboard....). "Stop thinking about me..and never.... ever....ever... think of embarrassing me by proposing in future. Its just a friendly advice." Sounded more like a threat to me..but girls have their own vocab..cant help it.

I heard her re-emphasizing.."we are just friends...and ll be hereafter too...if you are ok with it but nothing more than that.....you listening to me ??" My heart sunk like Titanic..oh man !! It was on such a beautiful journey...but alas..bruised so badly that it chose to sink than keep afloat with scars. The phone got dropped from my hand, like a twig from a tree struck with lightening. I could still hear her voice,"Ok Chintan, dont you worry...everything would be fine...gotta go...bbye !!". She fell from a height with my phone...that hurt me too. The flood gates were opened..tears started rolling down and when transformed into avalanche..dont remember. So many emotions striking the same note...at the same time...pain..agony...!!

I wanted to ask so many questions....but to whom..could not decide. I wanted a shoulder to wet with tears..but whom to call..could not decide... I wanted to burn effigy of her..but which books to choose to burn..could not decide ! Looking in the mirror...I could not decide, looking stupid is bad or being one !!

I dont know, if I would be same person again. If I would ever be able to love someone again. If If I would ever want to be called innocent again !!

Lucky Cafe

A lot can happen over a coffee !!!  naah......... I do not believe that. Do you ?

While composing this incident, I tried to be usual me.....thinking
what all could go wrong when a guy tries to date a girl in the first meeting ?

hhmm...Lets see.

Guy asks permission to sit next to a lonely girl, and she plainly says,"NO"
moral down....

Lets assume she agrees and in excitement, while getting up to order a coffee...guy bumps into an old school, who screws the guy in front of the girl for being uncourteous, uncultured, unethical and so on...
impression down...

The guy tries to compliment the girl for her smart phone, which turns out to be a dumb calculator
IQ down....

Lets assume she ignores these incidents, the guy gets coffee, comes back...sits there and while fiddling with stupid cup, the coffee falls over her pretty dress, you just complimented her about.
down...down...down !!!

And yes forgot to mention, that while going that girl crushes his bike into wall by her car !!

I mean....screw him altogether....in all possible ways...because he dared to give it a try ??

Come'on, give him a second chance.... wont you ??

Lets begin afresh.....

A  guy walks into an open air coffee bar, on the lake view side of a crowded mall.
But surprisingly, its silence in the air coupled with obvious serenity of the view.

The guy walks directly towards the extreme right corner table.
“Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here ?” , asked the guy to the girl already sitting there.

The girl raised her head from the novel, which she was reading since afternoon and found a 5’10” tall guy in a blue and white striped, collared  t-shirt and khaki shorts facing her, with a smiley face and starry eyes.

She could not decide, whether to get surprised or shocked to see a stranger asking for something she did not want to share…..........privacy !!

“Who the hell are you ? why don’t you sit anywhere else !” that’s what she wanted to ask and much more….
But before she could decide to confront or do anything…the guy threw another ball at her.

“Please don’t misunderstand me, it’s my lucky table. I always prefer to sit here. “ He said in such a calm voice and with such conviction, that all she could manage was a sheepish nod…

The guy sat facing her and the lake view, for which people would step over shoulder of other people in peak hours. But being a weekday, the view was up for easy grab,............ the lake view.

“Beautiful !!”, the guy said…..

“Excuse me !!”, eyebrows of the girl dared the guy for such unwanted attention. “What do you mean ?”

“Pardon me…I was referring to the lake. I just love to stare at it, whenever I am here. So serene…so calm..
So peaceful…so…”

“Ok..ok….stop it…I got it…”, the girl said with an arrogant but pacified tone and dived again into the novel, which was cursing the guy for sharing the attention, it was enjoying without any competition till now.

The girl was not exactly an artwork or sculptor by God but fair, fairly attractive and graceful. She was wearing a casual brown Kurti and a faded blue jeans, which had almost decided to turn white. The beads around her neck and glasses tightly holding onto her nose, were giving her an intellectual look. In short, a pretty girl with sense and simplicity.

The guy ordered the coffee and was again looking straight in direction of girl, or in other words.... the lake placid.

After some moments of unpleasant silence, "What is so lucky about the table?", whats this !! She wanted to remain indifferrent but it just spurted out.

The guy gave a smile, "Actually everytime I have sat here, I have managed to get a date",said the guy staring right into her eyes....

The waiter brought the coffee. And the guy got busy customizing it, but his eyes still fixed on the girl.

Haah..what the fudge !! he aint no Prince charming, why would anybody date him ? or even have a coffee with him for that matter !
"May be its not ur lucky day mister !! I am not in a mood to date anybody !!", said the girl confidently fixing her glasses.

The guy smiled again clamly, but his mischievous eyes revealed it all that he was about to shoot a teaser, "who says, I would ask you ? you are not my type !!", he said sipping the coffee.

And before the girl could close her mouth, opened in awe, he continued," I was referring to the girl who is sitting there"pointing a finger towards another girl, sitting two tables away.

She had a round face and sharp features but an overly-anxious expression masking its beauty, as if she was waiting to get in a shop, where everything is at 80% discount. Anyways, she was wearing a loose red top struggling to stay on her shoulders and green shorts and not to forget her yellow shoes. Overall, she could easily give a run for money to a chameleon for the color contrasts she was sporting.

"Do you think, she would agree ??", the guy asked the girl while still looking at the distant target.

Though, she would not advise such a girl for even an enemy, but in these circumstances, her obvious answer was, "NO...."

"Why not !!", the guy asked with an animated curiosity.

That was a tough one," coz..coz...you may be not be her type!! ", she concluded.

"Her type ?? How do u know that ??  Are you a face reader like me ??", the guy asked again, resting his chin on his fist.

"Ahha...so you want me to believe, you are a face reader ??...very smart", the girl said fixing her glasses again. Her tone suggesting, she was in no mood to get convinced.

"Oh yeah...I am...", the guy said, leaning back on the chair."And I can read it on your forehead", he said leaning back at table with a jerk.

"And whats that ?", asked the girl gathering back her composure and with genuine curiosity.

"uumm...It reads, "Pick MEEEEE.... not her ! She is no match for you.", concluded the guy, smiling and patting himself for his wits.

Girl makes a weird face, "haa...haa....haaa... very funny" and wipes her forehead with a hankerchief to get rid of accumulating sweat.

"Now it reads, this guy is a genuine genious!", claimed the guy with a victorious grin.

The girl gave a forced, annoyed smile while putting her hankerchief back in her purse.

Guy said, "just kiddin...Just wanted to see your expressions". The girl became consious and her hand automatically moved to fix her glasses.

"But that girl seems to be just the one I wish to date.", continued the guy.

"Why is that ?", asked the girl.

"Because ...she is wearing a loose top and shorts. And that means....."

"What does that means to you ?" girl interrupted the guy, in anticipation of an obvious answer.

"That reveals that she has a ....she has a very good.....good sense of fashion." said the guy, chewing his answer and sipping the coffee.Thouroughly enjoying girls' expressions, whose eyes were popping out of sockets as if preparing to launch an "Anti-Eve teasing Campaign".

"Haah.... listen mister...I exactly understand..what u meant...", the girl sad settling down but pointing a finger towards the guy."dont try to act smart.." Though she was praising the guy within, for his jugglery of words.

"Thanks for the compliment..but I am not good at accepting compliments..", the guy said, acting to blush.
This time, the girl smiled... "You know what..you are a psycho...!! ", she said

"How do u know that?? ", the guy said giving a shocked expression. "That I have done masters in psychology ?. Anyways...its alright, I think, I am inducing you to read forehead too".

" And guess what, you get an opportunity to repay me. I think, you can help me to get her to agree to my proposal.", the guy continued with his vicious plot.

Wait a minute, this is not happening...Is he trying to use me to get her ? No way.....
"Why should I help you ?? I dont even know you", girl said using her both hands to gesture her annoyance.

"Oh com'on..thats such a non-issue! Hi, my name is Shinchan, Shinchan Niranjan Vachchani, Shinchan Niranjan Manbhanjan Vachchani, rest I ll tell you later. And as u already know, done masters in psychology and my phone number is 00-6999-9999...."

"Stop..stop...did I ask for your number ??", the girl said trying to justify her intentions.

"I thought, that would be your next question", guy said smiling. "Usually, thats what girls ask me first...."

"But you are different... you asked it after a long time...I like it", guy said trying to control his grin.

Now the girl blushed and her cheeks turned pink trying to hide her subdued emotions.....And once again, her glasses hugged her nose, on a slight touch of her hand.

"So, you asked, why should you help me....", guy said with his head staring the blue sky and finger tapping his dimpled chin.

"Lets think.....may be for a cup of coffee ??", he suggested...pointing towards the girl's empty mug." infact, take it as an advance...", and smiled again.

" Waiter !!! "

Dominozzz Effect !!

Now this may sound absurd but holds true if and only if you are a pizza lover. And you have spent some quality time with any mouth-watering, olive-eyed, vibracious Pizza in any bakery/restaurant or specialty pizza parlor  or even at home.

So, here is a theory about the weird analogy between your Life and a Pizza !! Now you may just turn a straight face or put 2-3 more wrinkles on your forehead or even adjust your specs to make sure, you read it right. So lets just start by concluding that you read it right !!

The logic of comparing your life with a Pizza :You may think, that you have set your priorities right and have told your choice well in advance, to whomever you think is responsible to shape your life and affect it in whatever

manner possible. Quite similar to the way you order a Pizza, choosing the size, price-range, toppings or the stuffing. Expecting that it would turn out exactly the way you wished it to be ! A colorful life-size masterpiece, a treat for eyes and tongue. But........ all said and done, in the end..it doesn't even matter. Because sometimes, it all depends on someone else...and not you, for how would your life or pizza may look and taste :)

On the same lines, your life is a conglomerate of many sectors, your family, your relatives, your career, your friends,secret affair and others, which may not be of equal importance but, lets assume for the sake of comparison with Pizza, its same, the way a Pizza is a joint venture of many pieces. You may choose which piece you want to eat first but still, you gotta finish 'em all....all by yourself :)

Now, good part is, you can choose the toppings, the way you like it, just like friends in your life ! You can choose evergreen onion, without which your every plan is incomplete; hot-headed but kind hearted tomato, which can give blisters if not given proper attention; soothing capsicum, which would not only impart taste but change your life forever; mushroom, however hard you try to keep him away, still manages to reach your mouth and so forth and so on.....

And then, your girlfriend/boyfriend..who is like the cheese-burst added to your Pizza.... falling all over you...making you drool...making you feel, thats the only reason you bought the pizza for....making sure, ur all attention is towards it, ignoring all other things. !! Tastes great at first and then as time passes by, things start stretching and it becomes tasteless by the time you reach last bite :)

Last but not the least, Your career/studies....just like the base of the Pizza, doesnt taste good, does not have any appeal, but still you could not afford a Pizza without a base....in short an indispensable part of your life,a necessary evil :)

And there could be some freebies in your life, who keep coming and going at their own discretion, which you may want or may not want, but still tolerate them, just because they come free of cost or at a nominal price....similar to a cold drink bottle, garlic bread or introductory pasta, which disturbs your diet plan and affects your pocket too..

dispensable but still you juggle them till the time you reach your table or home :)

So there you are....my friend.....staring at the Pizza and looking for more similarities between your life and him. Hope you could better relate to it now and have a healthy relationship hereafter !!

And yes, do share your findings if I have missed any :))

Have I fallen in Love ?? Litmus test

For all those, who ask themselves this question some or the other time or all the time, "Have I fallen in love ??"

You can easily find the answer to this question by answering "Yes"/"No" for following statements/questions.

Note: If you want to answer "May be..", you definitely have not attained the right age to fall in love...so relax !!

1. You still enjoy snacks between four meals a day ??

2. You still search for logic in Bollywood masala movies ??

3. There is no time lag between a good joke and your frantic, hysterical laughter !

4. You still gaze at passing girls/guys and not stars in daytime !!

5. You are still considered hygenic socially/ you dont smell like a dumpster ??

6. You are trying to quit smoking/alcohol ??

7. Your friends still call you for parties and dont treat you as a street dog with rashes !!

8. You can still sleep 25 hrs a day without complaining of exhaustion !!

9. Nobody has yet referred you to a psychiatrist !!

10. The girl/guy you think you love, doesnt thinks of you as a complete loser !!

Even if one of your answers is "Yes", go through the questionnaire again, you still have hope to find more "Yes".

And if most of your answers are "No", then my friend....you were my friend !! May God have mercy on you :)