Lucky Cafe

A lot can happen over a coffee !!!  naah......... I do not believe that. Do you ?

While composing this incident, I tried to be usual me.....thinking
what all could go wrong when a guy tries to date a girl in the first meeting ?

hhmm...Lets see.

Guy asks permission to sit next to a lonely girl, and she plainly says,"NO"
moral down....

Lets assume she agrees and in excitement, while getting up to order a coffee...guy bumps into an old school, who screws the guy in front of the girl for being uncourteous, uncultured, unethical and so on...
impression down...

The guy tries to compliment the girl for her smart phone, which turns out to be a dumb calculator
IQ down....

Lets assume she ignores these incidents, the guy gets coffee, comes back...sits there and while fiddling with stupid cup, the coffee falls over her pretty dress, you just complimented her about.
down...down...down !!!

And yes forgot to mention, that while going that girl crushes his bike into wall by her car !!

I mean....screw him altogether....in all possible ways...because he dared to give it a try ??

Come'on, give him a second chance.... wont you ??

Lets begin afresh.....

A  guy walks into an open air coffee bar, on the lake view side of a crowded mall.
But surprisingly, its silence in the air coupled with obvious serenity of the view.

The guy walks directly towards the extreme right corner table.
“Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here ?” , asked the guy to the girl already sitting there.

The girl raised her head from the novel, which she was reading since afternoon and found a 5’10” tall guy in a blue and white striped, collared  t-shirt and khaki shorts facing her, with a smiley face and starry eyes.

She could not decide, whether to get surprised or shocked to see a stranger asking for something she did not want to share…..........privacy !!

“Who the hell are you ? why don’t you sit anywhere else !” that’s what she wanted to ask and much more….
But before she could decide to confront or do anything…the guy threw another ball at her.

“Please don’t misunderstand me, it’s my lucky table. I always prefer to sit here. “ He said in such a calm voice and with such conviction, that all she could manage was a sheepish nod…

The guy sat facing her and the lake view, for which people would step over shoulder of other people in peak hours. But being a weekday, the view was up for easy grab,............ the lake view.

“Beautiful !!”, the guy said…..

“Excuse me !!”, eyebrows of the girl dared the guy for such unwanted attention. “What do you mean ?”

“Pardon me…I was referring to the lake. I just love to stare at it, whenever I am here. So serene…so calm..
So peaceful…so…”

“Ok..ok….stop it…I got it…”, the girl said with an arrogant but pacified tone and dived again into the novel, which was cursing the guy for sharing the attention, it was enjoying without any competition till now.

The girl was not exactly an artwork or sculptor by God but fair, fairly attractive and graceful. She was wearing a casual brown Kurti and a faded blue jeans, which had almost decided to turn white. The beads around her neck and glasses tightly holding onto her nose, were giving her an intellectual look. In short, a pretty girl with sense and simplicity.

The guy ordered the coffee and was again looking straight in direction of girl, or in other words.... the lake placid.

After some moments of unpleasant silence, "What is so lucky about the table?", whats this !! She wanted to remain indifferrent but it just spurted out.

The guy gave a smile, "Actually everytime I have sat here, I have managed to get a date",said the guy staring right into her eyes....

The waiter brought the coffee. And the guy got busy customizing it, but his eyes still fixed on the girl.

Haah..what the fudge !! he aint no Prince charming, why would anybody date him ? or even have a coffee with him for that matter !
"May be its not ur lucky day mister !! I am not in a mood to date anybody !!", said the girl confidently fixing her glasses.

The guy smiled again clamly, but his mischievous eyes revealed it all that he was about to shoot a teaser, "who says, I would ask you ? you are not my type !!", he said sipping the coffee.

And before the girl could close her mouth, opened in awe, he continued," I was referring to the girl who is sitting there"pointing a finger towards another girl, sitting two tables away.

She had a round face and sharp features but an overly-anxious expression masking its beauty, as if she was waiting to get in a shop, where everything is at 80% discount. Anyways, she was wearing a loose red top struggling to stay on her shoulders and green shorts and not to forget her yellow shoes. Overall, she could easily give a run for money to a chameleon for the color contrasts she was sporting.

"Do you think, she would agree ??", the guy asked the girl while still looking at the distant target.

Though, she would not advise such a girl for even an enemy, but in these circumstances, her obvious answer was, "NO...."

"Why not !!", the guy asked with an animated curiosity.

That was a tough one," coz..coz...you may be not be her type!! ", she concluded.

"Her type ?? How do u know that ??  Are you a face reader like me ??", the guy asked again, resting his chin on his fist.

"Ahha...so you want me to believe, you are a face reader ??...very smart", the girl said fixing her glasses again. Her tone suggesting, she was in no mood to get convinced.

"Oh yeah...I am...", the guy said, leaning back on the chair."And I can read it on your forehead", he said leaning back at table with a jerk.

"And whats that ?", asked the girl gathering back her composure and with genuine curiosity.

"uumm...It reads, "Pick MEEEEE.... not her ! She is no match for you.", concluded the guy, smiling and patting himself for his wits.

Girl makes a weird face, "haa...haa....haaa... very funny" and wipes her forehead with a hankerchief to get rid of accumulating sweat.

"Now it reads, this guy is a genuine genious!", claimed the guy with a victorious grin.

The girl gave a forced, annoyed smile while putting her hankerchief back in her purse.

Guy said, "just kiddin...Just wanted to see your expressions". The girl became consious and her hand automatically moved to fix her glasses.

"But that girl seems to be just the one I wish to date.", continued the guy.

"Why is that ?", asked the girl.

"Because ...she is wearing a loose top and shorts. And that means....."

"What does that means to you ?" girl interrupted the guy, in anticipation of an obvious answer.

"That reveals that she has a ....she has a very good.....good sense of fashion." said the guy, chewing his answer and sipping the coffee.Thouroughly enjoying girls' expressions, whose eyes were popping out of sockets as if preparing to launch an "Anti-Eve teasing Campaign".

"Haah.... listen mister...I exactly understand..what u meant...", the girl sad settling down but pointing a finger towards the guy."dont try to act smart.." Though she was praising the guy within, for his jugglery of words.

"Thanks for the compliment..but I am not good at accepting compliments..", the guy said, acting to blush.
This time, the girl smiled... "You know what..you are a psycho...!! ", she said

"How do u know that?? ", the guy said giving a shocked expression. "That I have done masters in psychology ?. Anyways...its alright, I think, I am inducing you to read forehead too".

" And guess what, you get an opportunity to repay me. I think, you can help me to get her to agree to my proposal.", the guy continued with his vicious plot.

Wait a minute, this is not happening...Is he trying to use me to get her ? No way.....
"Why should I help you ?? I dont even know you", girl said using her both hands to gesture her annoyance.

"Oh com'on..thats such a non-issue! Hi, my name is Shinchan, Shinchan Niranjan Vachchani, Shinchan Niranjan Manbhanjan Vachchani, rest I ll tell you later. And as u already know, done masters in psychology and my phone number is 00-6999-9999...."

"Stop..stop...did I ask for your number ??", the girl said trying to justify her intentions.

"I thought, that would be your next question", guy said smiling. "Usually, thats what girls ask me first...."

"But you are different... you asked it after a long time...I like it", guy said trying to control his grin.

Now the girl blushed and her cheeks turned pink trying to hide her subdued emotions.....And once again, her glasses hugged her nose, on a slight touch of her hand.

"So, you asked, why should you help me....", guy said with his head staring the blue sky and finger tapping his dimpled chin.

"Lets think.....may be for a cup of coffee ??", he suggested...pointing towards the girl's empty mug." infact, take it as an advance...", and smiled again.

" Waiter !!! "

Dominozzz Effect !!

Now this may sound absurd but holds true if and only if you are a pizza lover. And you have spent some quality time with any mouth-watering, olive-eyed, vibracious Pizza in any bakery/restaurant or specialty pizza parlor  or even at home.

So, here is a theory about the weird analogy between your Life and a Pizza !! Now you may just turn a straight face or put 2-3 more wrinkles on your forehead or even adjust your specs to make sure, you read it right. So lets just start by concluding that you read it right !!

The logic of comparing your life with a Pizza :You may think, that you have set your priorities right and have told your choice well in advance, to whomever you think is responsible to shape your life and affect it in whatever

manner possible. Quite similar to the way you order a Pizza, choosing the size, price-range, toppings or the stuffing. Expecting that it would turn out exactly the way you wished it to be ! A colorful life-size masterpiece, a treat for eyes and tongue. But........ all said and done, in the end..it doesn't even matter. Because sometimes, it all depends on someone else...and not you, for how would your life or pizza may look and taste :)

On the same lines, your life is a conglomerate of many sectors, your family, your relatives, your career, your friends,secret affair and others, which may not be of equal importance but, lets assume for the sake of comparison with Pizza, its same, the way a Pizza is a joint venture of many pieces. You may choose which piece you want to eat first but still, you gotta finish 'em all....all by yourself :)

Now, good part is, you can choose the toppings, the way you like it, just like friends in your life ! You can choose evergreen onion, without which your every plan is incomplete; hot-headed but kind hearted tomato, which can give blisters if not given proper attention; soothing capsicum, which would not only impart taste but change your life forever; mushroom, however hard you try to keep him away, still manages to reach your mouth and so forth and so on.....

And then, your girlfriend/boyfriend..who is like the cheese-burst added to your Pizza.... falling all over you...making you drool...making you feel, thats the only reason you bought the pizza for....making sure, ur all attention is towards it, ignoring all other things. !! Tastes great at first and then as time passes by, things start stretching and it becomes tasteless by the time you reach last bite :)

Last but not the least, Your career/studies....just like the base of the Pizza, doesnt taste good, does not have any appeal, but still you could not afford a Pizza without a base....in short an indispensable part of your life,a necessary evil :)

And there could be some freebies in your life, who keep coming and going at their own discretion, which you may want or may not want, but still tolerate them, just because they come free of cost or at a nominal price....similar to a cold drink bottle, garlic bread or introductory pasta, which disturbs your diet plan and affects your pocket too..

dispensable but still you juggle them till the time you reach your table or home :)

So there you are....my friend.....staring at the Pizza and looking for more similarities between your life and him. Hope you could better relate to it now and have a healthy relationship hereafter !!

And yes, do share your findings if I have missed any :))

Have I fallen in Love ?? Litmus test

For all those, who ask themselves this question some or the other time or all the time, "Have I fallen in love ??"

You can easily find the answer to this question by answering "Yes"/"No" for following statements/questions.

Note: If you want to answer "May be..", you definitely have not attained the right age to fall in love...so relax !!

1. You still enjoy snacks between four meals a day ??

2. You still search for logic in Bollywood masala movies ??

3. There is no time lag between a good joke and your frantic, hysterical laughter !

4. You still gaze at passing girls/guys and not stars in daytime !!

5. You are still considered hygenic socially/ you dont smell like a dumpster ??

6. You are trying to quit smoking/alcohol ??

7. Your friends still call you for parties and dont treat you as a street dog with rashes !!

8. You can still sleep 25 hrs a day without complaining of exhaustion !!

9. Nobody has yet referred you to a psychiatrist !!

10. The girl/guy you think you love, doesnt thinks of you as a complete loser !!

Even if one of your answers is "Yes", go through the questionnaire again, you still have hope to find more "Yes".

And if most of your answers are "No", then my friend....you were my friend !! May God have mercy on you :)

I hate Surprizes !!

Here I was, standing in front of my class-teacher, I staring at the mosaic tile of the floor...rubbing my shoe against it. And my teacher staring down at me.After moments of torturous silence, the inevitable rain started pouring,"I am really upset with you. You are a bright student, why would you do something like that ?" And look up, when I am talking to you !!" I was made to feel like a serial killer, who had appeared in court to plead guilty.

It was Diwali season, and as a tradition somebody had to plant a cracker-bomb in the boys-toilet. And this time, I had to do the honors. Or rather I took it up on me to prove a point to my stupid, idiot, and "self acclaimed cool" friends. So, on the destined day, with a pounding heart and shaking hands, I planted the bomb after lunch, with a lit scented stick to act as timer and left the scene. But, unfortunately the fragrance of the stick was too good to get unnoticed and the sweeper of the school, who usually played the "sniffer dog", foiled the plan. And still dont know, who traited me and gave my name to teacher or I swear to God, I would have demonstrated my karate skills to him without hesitation.

And now it was fire-fighting time. I looked up, gathering all the courage left in me, and all the innocence almost ready to pour out of watery eyes."Ma'am I did not do it, I am being dragged  into this matter unnecessarily!". It worked but not much as I was not  used to such kind of trials. She lowered her tone,"Now the last thing you would want to do is lie to me! Accept you did it with dignity and I may reduce your punishment. Or tell me the name of the guy, who did this". Woah, I was offered a deal, either to get my head shaved or stab one of my stupid, idiot and "self acclaimed cool" friends. I glanced at them, but to my surprize, their faces seemed to be as innocent as I had not seen in my lifetime! Their eyes, made me feel bad about the very idea of betraying them and giving their name as mastermind.

I was feeling the cold sweat running down my back and on palms. I had no choice but to plead guilty, for the crime which never happened ! So, with a heavy heart and embarrassed voice I nodded my head and said," Sorry Ma'am, I should not have done this. I apologize for the mistake I have committed. Please forgive me."

But has anybody seen roadways-bus-drivers giving way to dogs ? None. But the miracle happened. To my surprize, she calmed down and touched my shoulder and said," Since you have accepted your mistake and considering your good records, I have no doubt that you would not commit such a heinous thing again. But.....". The but did put breaks on my increasing happiness. And a question mark floated in my eyes, whats this but for?" She continued," But you ll have to monitor that until Diwali vacation starts, nobody from this class does anything like this again." her words dropped like Hiroshima bomb on my ears. I wanted to shout, punish me but not like this. But instead, I thanked the teacher for her kind nature and came back to my seat.

The damage was done. I turned my head towards my friends again and saw those innocent faces turning into demon faces again. And by courtesy of my stupid, idiot and "self acclaimed cool" friends, I had to monitor what janitor did, play "sniffer dog" !!

An Affair after Despair-Day#2

Day 2 :

Sun had already taken a bed-tea and was playing hide and seek in the sky, when Sameer's alarm rang,"Jane ye ladka kya karega, kapoot hai ye kapoot, uth nalayak !!" And Sameer woke up, still grumpy and unhappy over last day's embarrasement. But, it was still Tuesday, so he got up feeling his feet as 50 kg each, and hardly managed to drag himself to washroom. It was easy today, he dressed up for office, got down the staircase anticipating one more encounter to make up for yesterday but, there was no wind, no violins, just an old Maruti emitting too much carbon-monoxide, reminding him of yesterday's embaraasement !!

Sameer took an auto to his office as usual and was thinking all ifs and buts all the way. As he reached the compound, he saw a girl getting off a cab.Oh God, thats her !! Sameer got excited and would ve jumped out off his auto, if auto-wala hadnt given a jerk to auto,smelling Sameer's intentions.And when he stopped the auto, he turned angrily towards Sameer with his finger ready to point and shoot, but to his dissappointment, he found nobody inside. Sameer had dissappeared like a ghost vanishes in thin air!Shocked, he turned his head to find Sameer, and found him standing next to a pretty girl. Tanya was struggling to find change in her purse just as a novice magician tries to find a rabbit in his hat to complete the trick ! "May I help you?", Tanya raised her head to see Sameer
standing beside her smiling.Sameer asked again,"Let me help you." Tanya had no choice but to agree as she was getting late for office.She nodded her head in yes and Sameer came in between her and Cab driver like a hero jumps between his gf and hungry tiger in jungle."I dont know, why cab drivers dont keep change? Just to embarrase common people? You guys should be debarred from driving cabs without carrying change!" The cab driver was listening to Sameer like a sincere student in class listens to his teacher.Sameer was still continuing,"I feel all cabs should ve a swiping m/c installed so that you guys dont trouble people",all this while he was glancing to make sure Tanya is watching him talk like an
intellectual in an international convention does on Global Warming! Also, he was searching for his purse, which was not to be found at its usual hide-outs.He had already frisked his pants front pockets, the back pockets. The last option, the shirt pocket also reported it missing!The cab driver swung out of the cab, and examined Sameer from top to bottom,like an ATS personnel examines a suspect.Now it was his turn,"Listen Madam, I know you dont ve change. No problems,I know you work here,I would take it tomorrow.  But I ve one advice, dont ever trust such guys(and gave Sameer a nasty look), huh" !! Sameer could see his WTC of love, falling and cab driver looked like a Lashkar terrorist to him, who had just crashed his cab instead of plane to cause demise of his budding relationship! 

Sameer turned to explain to Tanya that he must have forgotten purse at home, but found his auto-wala in between. Sameer looked him and then looked Tanya. Tanya felt as if a hungry Somalian child was staring at her while she was eating a Mc Donald's burger!She immediately took out a 500 rupee note and handed over to Sameer and started walking.

"Tanya, please wait a min, let me explain...",Sameer came running, panting. 
Tanya stopped,"now what? I ve had enough for the day".
"I know, I am so sorry...I know, you feel that I always behave weird. But its just that,when I get nervous, I behave like this".Sameer looked serious."I wont trouble you more, just give me your phone # so that I can contact you to return your favor,your money." Tanya calmed down, she now felt pity for him.She wanted to talk but it was already late."9975432341 and dont call me after 9pm",she said and rushed to her office.

Last time, Sameer had been so happy was when his school time gf, who dominated him so much had left her to hook up with his arch rival,Rohan. Sameer started dancing in slow motion,"Pehla nasha..pehla khumaar.....". He threw his jacket in air.."naya pyaar hai...naya intezaa.." bAAAAAAAm..Sameer found himself on ground staring at sky and people staring at him, the biker and the bike. Actually, the jacket he threw in air, did not get proper landing instructions from ATC and it landed on a biker coming from behind, who in turn crashed directly into the parking lot of Sameer. Fortunately, the impact was not major as Sameer was still smiling while people carried him for first-aid.

An Affair after Despair-Day#1

Many times, things just keep bouncing off, I mean dont fall in place and you feel its not gonna work,but its not so ! Sometimes, it all happens for a reason :)

So have faith and be yourself, thats what you can do best in difficult times !!

So cheer up !!

Day 1 :

Sameer was in his bed when his mobile-alarm rang,"Tere jaisi aulaad se to be-aulaad hona achcha,door hoja meri nazro se, nalayak!!" Sameer jumped off his bed like a spring-loaded-toy. Then he realised, he was far away from his home,where his dad would kill his morning dreams brutually with a harsh voice. He thanked God and looked at his room walls covered up with bollywood posters of his favorite movies and stars, he felt fresh then to get started with his morning chores.

He went to washroom, with Fardeen Khan dancing in background to tunes of,"Ho..ho..ho..ho.ho...Good morning Indiaaaah" He was feeling uneasy and cursing himself because of the junk he ate last night at Shyam's party. Though it was not for the first time, he had done something like this. Sameer was a
foodaholic and yet could model for a toothpick advertisement. But this time, even after spending half an hour on thought-seat, he could not wash off his sins of last night. But as he was getting late, he put everything "on hold" list and ran to the shower and in five mins, he was ready for office.

As he was rushing down the stairs, he was feeling the prelude of fireworks inside his stomach. But as soon as he reached the corner of staircase, he forgot evrything. Violins played "Mohabbatein tunes" around him and there she was....Tanya walking towards him, with her long hair resisting the gush of wind, her right hand desperately trying to cover her sparkling, beautiful eyes and her anklets giggling and peeping out of her Patiala Salwar. Usually Sameer gets all charged up in such cases and plays cool dude confidently. But it was one of those special occasions when your heart doesn't catches signals of any tower in your mind. And so, Sameer was standing at the staircase corner, awestruck, helpless, paralysed. Tanya had already noticed Sameer but pretended not to... and kept walking with a blank face, an art girls usually have a doctorate in. But this time, she felt pity on the poor fellow and thought of giving him a chance to talk to her, by asking for time, though she had a watch and mobile for backup for that case. And so, as she reached Sameer, still standing as a statue, with his head inviting pigeons for good luck and open mouth inviting flies, she halted for a second near him. And thats it....

This shock was enough to spark the fireworks inside Sameer's belly, which acted like a chemical weapon, result...a sudden fire and the damage
was done! Tanya did exactly what any self-respecting girl with unblocked nostrils would do. She walked away as if she hadn't even thought of halting. The moment for which Sameer was waiting since ages, came and passed by and all he could do was,behave like a pressure cooker does when on a burner !

Love's-truck !!

Its been almost 5 months, we moved in together. And since then, my life has taken a complete X-turn...sounds weird..ok, U-turn. My friends complain, I dont spend time with them. My books complain, as I dont spend time with them either. So what ?? Its not my fault, what can I do !

Not long ago, I was lonely, though I had a dozen people around me. I was incomplete, in search of that something, that could complete me in true sense. I was going through a nightmare, away from family, away from friends, infact drifting away from life itself !

Then, I met her.... her charm, her aura just blew me away. I still remember, when I saw her for the first time, in a mall. I just saw a glimpse of her and I was spell-struck ! Then and there I decided, that she ll be mine, no matter what happened. I collected all information about her from all resources, her likes, dislikes; her friends and family; her compatibility preferences and all. Phew.....sheer madness but luck shined on me and we met..met again and again. I started spending more and more time with her. I would see the clock a hundred times in office, and run after work to be with her. And she would also wait for me and greet me with a twinkling spark in her eyes. Whenever we are together, I could not help staring in her eyes, they are splendidly vivid. Infact, I see a whole new world in her eyes.

I love almost everything about her, infact I am crazy about her. The way she talks..by the way, she talks a lot. Whole night would end, but her stories would not! I do not know, who told her all those stories, but I love hearing them. Its not just because of the story itself but because her face lightens up like morning sun while telling a story and her expressive eyes would pierce through my flesh to my conscious and wash away all the worldly malice and discontent. Sometimes, I fall asleep even in midst of her stories, but she wont mind and rather just lie by my side, whole night. And when I wake up in the morning, she would still be there, so serene, so calm like the evening sea-shore. the moment I wake her up, she smiles at me and we start talking about the world affairs. She is very brainy, and talks about a lot of stuff, I dont even know.

She is a bit on heavier side, and so to walk, carrying her in my arms is a bit tedious...but still I dont mind because I feel like a bollywood hero carrying his beautiful damsel in his arms! It feels so lucky, having her in my life, dont know, what would I ve done if she had not supported me in my difficult times. I thank God and
H&P (her parents) for giving me this wonderful gift.

Though all is well, but sometimes I get irritated when she faints while we are in midst of a conversation because of  low battery ! Yeah, what ? Cant my lappy suffer from low battery syndrome ? She is also a machine, she has every right to behave like one ! Now dont give me that look, I am not a weirdo...its just that I love her so much ! Don't you ??