Me, Myself & Divine

I always wondered, what does God looks like? Everybody told, "only people with a pure heart can see him". So, I had no chance whatsoever as nor I bathe regularly neither I wear laundered clothes. And how could a pure heart reside beneath such unhygienic conditions!

But now I can imagine of his looks. He should be a middle aged man with rugged looks, an unshaven face, unkempt hair, wearing a crumpled tee with worn out jeans. Chucking his half-dead beedi in an empty cup of Irani Chai. And flaunting his gold teeth while grinning. However, I am not sure its golden yellow or tartared-yellow because of tobacco! In short, he should be somebody like Jaggu Dada.

Although, I do not know much about him, but I know that he does not cares for me and so, I do not like him either! I remember when I was 3-4 yrs. old, my mother used to take me to his home. And I yelled hysterically because I hated going there. People there, never behaved properly. Although draped in neat and tidy attires, they uttered filthy words to my mother and me, words I did not understand then!

And I bet, God is not what he pretends to be at his home: gentle, caring and rich with a persona so pure and mesmerizing. It is all fake and I did realize it early. Once, when Baniya was robbing us of our cow and utensils, I asked my mother,"why?" and she said,"God wants it this way!". It rooted a belief in me, deep inside that God is heartless and fearful character since Baniya, who is himself a ruthless and notorious figure, fears him and obeys his orders! Still my mother says,"God treats us all as equal and cares for everybody". If it were so, why did not he pay our debt to Baniya if he were rich(as I have seen him fancying diamond and gold ornaments at his home!) and cares for us too.

However, I think I have resolved the mystery. Now, I have all the answers. I know who God is! He works for a Theater company and uses the fake jewelery and costumes to fool people at his home. But why does he do that? Its simple, to pretend he is rich! And since people present gifts only to rich, he gets all those boxes of sweets and milk and much more. Nevertheless, he never shared even a bit of those with me. Even when he knew that many a times I had to sleep empty bellied, as my mother says, "God knows everything".

I have decided, I will fight him once I grow up to take my father's revenge. God or may be his wife killed my father because he had mustaches and God's wife doesn't likes mustached-men. I have seen her photos killing a mustached man with Trishul. Just imagine, how cruel one has to be, to kill a person just because he has mustache!!! My neighbors say, my father died of consuming excess liquor. But I know that is not the truth. They say like that because they also fear God. But I am not a coward, I am not afraid because I know I am safe until I grow old and have mustache!

Do you still think the same way, that God is omnipotent, the savior??? He is not...... in fact, he is indifferent, sadist and a bully. He deprived me of what I had because he is poor, and so am I !